Separation anxiety

Hi, I guess this is my first real post on this.

They say children go through separation anxiety at about 9 or 10 months. Mommies have trouble the first time they leave their kids with a babysitter or their first day of childcare or the first day of school... My 4 year old did the 9 or 10 month thing.

I didn't cry the first day of childcare, no problem with the first day of school. I had trouble with the first overnight, with all the overnights. This is me to my husband "Do you think he's ok? Should we call to find out how he's doing? What if he won't go to sleep?" I have trouble with nights out, I leave them all day, do it at night too??? Just seems like such punishment even though he cries leaving the person's house when I pick him up.

Now, this weekend I'm taking my first baby, my 4 year old, all the way accross the country and leaving him there for a whole week (I'm tearing up just typing this)...And even though he'll be with his cousin, who he refers to as his "sister" and his Tia who was his childcare for almost a year, and I know he'll have so much fun and not think of me until time to go to sleep...seeing what I wrote above can you see how hard this is for me??? It's torture and I don't even know why I'm doing it...actually writing this, if I hadn't already bought the tickets that I can't return, I think I'd change my mind...

If it's so hard for me, why am I doing it, you say? A couple of reasons, first because it is so hard for me. I need to get over this separation enxiety thing, and if I practice on the kid I know will not have a hard time with it because he is attached to his tia and his cousin, then it won't be so hard to leave them both, when we decide to take a vacation without the kids, which is what my husband has dreamed of doing since Ricky was born. As for the second reason, well that's the same reason reworded because I know he'll love it and he needs a little independence, he's kind of a momma's boy.

Stay tuned for how I'm doing while he's gone.